


Mile Markers

by ashandcas (ashriddle4)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 10x19 coda, Bottom Dean, Cas POV, Crying During Sex, First Kiss, First Time, Longing, M/M, Praise Kink, Sex in the Lincoln, Top Castiel, post 10x19
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-24
Updated: 2015-04-24
Packaged: 2018-03-25 13:22:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3812074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashriddle4/pseuds/ashandcas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas has been running away from his feelings for Dean for awhile now. Dean isn't going to let him run anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mile Markers

The longing has been a living thing in his chest since mile marker 69. It’s pouring and the Lincoln’s windshield wipers work as fast as they can, but it’s not enough. Just like running is hardly enough anymore. Cas no longer knows how to ignore it, how far the band between him and Dean may stretch before it snaps. When Cas got his grace back, he expected his feelings to get easier to process, to lay behind an angelic veil, a misty shadow of what they had been when he was human or even less-than-angel.

It is not easier; it is worse. His powered up grace makes the longing even easier to feel, harder to deny. But what Dean longs for is different than what Cas can give him. Dean longs for friendship, for his angel, for protection and heavenly power. He does not long for what Cas longs for. For lips and tongue, for physical intimacy, for _sexual_ intimacy. Cas wants to be one with Dean, to know every part of the man with every part of himself. He may be able to live without these things…but if he’s around Dean too long, Dean will figure him out, and then Dean will hate him.

Headlights flash behind him as a car speeds up and tailgates him. It’s a one-lane road but the driver still pulls around him if he or she wanted to go faster. Not that Cas himself isn’t already going 15 miles over the speed limit, curving down these dark and mostly empty back roads.

The headlights flash again. Then, the car zips around him. Instead of speeding past, it slows to keep pace with Cas. Cas looks over at it and almost steers off the road.

It’s the Impala. It’s Dean. It’s _Dean._

Cas slams on his brakes and pulls off to the side of the road. Dean quickly follows behind him. Cas jumps out of the driver’s seat, and Dean is only seconds behind him. The rain pelts down on his shoulders, soaking his beige coat, but he doesn’t care. Dean’s getting drenched too so he’s hunched slightly, looking goofy and beautiful all at the same time.

“Dean, what’s going on? Are you all right? Did you call? I didn’t get it-“

Dean steps closer to Cas. “I’m fine. I didn’t call. Some stuff happened happened. There was a suicide house. Hallucinations. Benny. Purgatory. It doesn’t matter, but I needed to see you.”

“On the highway in the middle of nowhere during a downpour?”

“Uh, yeah.”

Cas swallows, feeling nervous. “Why?”

Dean stares at Cas for a moment, opening and closing his mouth, but never saying a word. Then, Dean dives at Cas, crushing their mouths together. His arms go stiff as shock courses through him before he realizes that it’s happening. Dean is kissing him. Cas’s hands thread into Dean’s hair and he pulls them closer, letting Dean back him up against the hood of the Lincoln.

Dean’s tongue presses at Cas’s lips and he’s kissed before, but he’s surprised by it as the thought _Dean wants to put his tongue inside my mouth_ hits him full force. Cas gasps, and Dean uses that moment to gain access. To sweep his soft tongue over Cas’s, slide it along his teeth, everywhere. Dean tastes like the Doublemint gum Cas sold at the Gas-N-Sip. Miraculously, it doesn’t take like moleculres. It’s delicious.

Slowly, Dean retreats, pulling their mouths apart. He quickly leans in for another peck and then rests their foreheads together. “I couldn’t wait anymore. Didn’t want to – why did we wait so long?”

Cas smirks. “Because we’re a couple of dumbasses.”

“I prefer…a couple.”

Cas laughs quietly at that and then replies, “…we’re both very wet.”

Dean kisses Cas again and then says against his lips, “We could wait out the storm… in the back of your car.”

 

. . .

 

Cas can’t be certain how they got where they are now. All he knows is that they were laughing about the rain and how bad Dean’s hair looked. They were shrugging out of their coats, which lead to shrugging out of other items of clothing until they were both naked. Cas’s hands were on Dean’s bare chest and the radio was playing a song Dean whispered the words to and then, suddenly, inexplicably, they went from there to here.

To Dean writhing on the fingers that Cas had slipped inside of him with the lube he kept in his glove compartment.

“ _Cas,_ wow, that’s – so, oh, _yes._ ”

Cas has done this to himself enough times to know how to do it Dean. He twists his fingers and finds that place he’s always liked himself.

“Damn, shit, what the- what _was_ that?”

Cas blinks a few times and looked at Dean. “You’ve never done this before.”

“Sorry, probably, should’ve said something. Wanted to seem cool. _Jesus_ Cas. Not while I’m trying to talk.”

Cas stops moving his fingers, but keeps them snuggly inside Dean. “Sorry, Dean.”

“I can’t believe you’re less of a virgin at something than me.” Dean swallows. “That you’ve done this before. With someone.”

“Dean, what? I haven’t. I’ve…I’ve done this to myself.” His grace should keep Cas from flushing but it doesn’t.”

“Oh, _oh,_ really? You put those same fingers inside you?”

“Uh, yes, Dean?”

“You rocked back on them? Feeling them stretch you out.” Somehow those simple words were making Cas’s erection grow harder. “Thinking of me. Did you think of me? Imagining it was my cock inside of you.”

Cas shuts his eyes, his whole body trembling. “Of course, I did.

“You can move your fingers again, man.”

“I thought you said not to do this while you talked?” Cas starts stretching Dean again. He immediately goes limp.

He groans. “This is different. This is dirty talk.”

“Oh. You may continue Dean.” Cas thrusts another finger inside Dean.

Dean chuckles. “The moment has passed.”

Dean is loose enough now, pliant and exquisite beneath Cas’s touch. Cas pulls his fingers out.

“Why’d you stop? Don’t stop.”

Cas kisses the inside of Dean’s thigh, feeling the muscle shake beneath his lips. “Because you’re ready.”

Dean swallows. Cas pours some more lube on his hand and slicks himself. He can’t believe he’s about to do this – about to get to do this – as he lines himself up with Dean’s entrance. Cas freezes. He suddenly finds it hard to breathe – inexplicably – because he doesn’t need to breathe.

“Cas, what’s wrong?”

“I – I can’t do this.”

Dean’s face pales. “What?”

“I want to – I just – not like this, not with…secrets between us.”

“Wait, what secrets?” Dean scoots up, curling his legs in and cutting himself off from Cas. If Dean can’t forgive Cas for this (and maybe he shouldn’t) he will never get to be with Dean the way he wants. The thought makes him ache all over, but they must talk about this.

“Hannah didn’t get my grace back. It was Metatron.”

“You went to Metatron for your grace?”

“No. Not originally. We went to him for more help with the mark.”

“We?”

“Yes. Me and Sam…….Dean?”

“I’m processing, Cas.”

“Oh.”

“He couldn’t help with the mark but he said that he still had some of my grace. Thing is…he escaped.”

Dean tensed. “Metatron…Metatron is out there?”

“Yes. He’s human, but yes.”

“Metatron is human? Are you serious?”

“I took his grace.”

Dean leaned his head back against the window. “I can’t believe we’re having this conversation naked and hard.”

“I’m so sorry, Dean. Sam and I…we just want to help you.”

“Lying to me isn’t the way, Cas.”

“I know, Dean. I understand if you can’t forgive me. If you don’t want me anymore, but I needed you to know before we…it would’ve been wrong.”

Dean slides down and opens his legs, exposing his slick wet rim to Cas again. “Are those all the secrets?”

“Yes, Dean.”

“Then, I forgive you and I still want you. Always,” he says the last part so quietly that Cas isn’t quite sure he hears it right until Dean says it again, “Always.”

Heart pounding, Cas lines himself up with Dean and begins to press in. It’s tight and hot. The squeeze is overwhelming not just because of the pressure because this is it. He’s getting to know Dean’s body as well as he can. He’s affirming their bond, their _love,_ with this connection. That’s what his Father designed this for and it’s the first time Cas has thanked Him in years.

Dean leans up and Cas catches his mouth in a kiss that sears through his whole body.

“Slower, Cas. Please,” Dean whimpers against Cas’s mouth.

“Are you hurt?” Panic builds in Cas’s chest.

Dean shakes his head. “Just want to enjoy it. Feel every inch of you fucking me.”

So Cas relaxes and slows down. It’s agonizingly slow, but he’d do anything for Dean. Eventually, finally, Cas bottoms out. Dean tosses his head back, gasping for air.

Dean thrusts his hips up. “Move, Cas. Fuck me. Waited too long for this. Can’t wait anymore.”

Cas kisses Dean hard again and moves slow at first and then lets the pace steadily and naturally build.

“You’re so good, Dean. So beautiful. My grace has always been meant for your soul. Can’t you feel that? Tell me you can feel it.” Dean nods as Cas slides his hands across Dean’s skin, softly stroking at the mark. “This doesn’t define you, my love. Your soul…I cant see it but i know it’s just as brilliant as bright as ever. The brightest soul my Father ever made. Nothing,” he pets the mark again, “could ever darken it…darken you.”

A single tear slides down Dean’s cheek. Cas doesn’t know if it’s Dean’s or his own. It doesn’t matter though. Right now, they are one and the same.

Cas slips his hand around Dean’s cock, rubbing it smoothly, but quick. It’s the way Cas likes it…he’s not sure how Dean likes it yet, but he wants to learn. It seems to be working well enough because Dean is shouting with each thrust.

“I’m close, Dean…I want to spill my seed inside you. May I?”

“Yes. God, yes.”

At that, Dean groans and comes with a shout between them, clenching tightly around Cas’s cock. The pressure, the rhythm, is too much and just right. Cas’s climax builds like sugar on fire between his legs and sizzle through every vein in his body until he’s kissing Dean and coming inside him.

Cas doesn’t pull out, just lies down on Dean’s chest, lips pecking at his neck.

“I love you, Cas,” Dean says simply. “It’s been true for awhile and I don’t know if you know it, even if you do. I want to say it. I’ve decided to start saying the things that I mean…so I love you, Cas.”

Cas smiles, a true genuine smile. “I love you too, Dean. You’re the love of my life.”

Cas’s phone rings, breaking the moment. Dean reaches down and picks it off the floorboard. Dean looks down and sees that it’s Sam. He answers it.

“Hey, Little Brother.”

With his grace intact, Cas can hear Sam’s reply, “…Dean? Is that you?”

“Do you have another older brother I don’t know about?”

“What are you doing with Cas?”

“We just finished having sex in the back of his car.”

“WHAT?”

“It was awesome. I was totally the bottom.” Dean winks at Cas. Cas didn’t think you were supposed to talk to your brother about these things, but it’s hard to keep track.

“Oh, God, Dean. I do not need to know that. What the hell?”

“Well, as long as you’re undersharing I figure I should overshare to even it out.”

There’s a pause. “Cas told you about Metatron?”

“Ding, ding. We have a winner.”

“Dean, I…”

“Right now, I don’t care. Right now, I’m gonna get dressed and drive Cas and I to the nearest motel and then we’re gonna fuck like bunnies…six more times at least. Then, me and you will have a discussion about all of this, okay?”

“Yeah, okay, Dean.”

“Sam?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re an idiot, but I love you.”

“You too, Dean.”

Dean hangs up the phone. “You up for that motel thing?”

Cas grins. He’s up for anything if it means Dean is by his side.

At mile marker 82 , Dean is singing along with the radio and Cas realizes the longing is gone. The only thing he feels is Dean’s hand holding his and the beat of his own heart.

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
